Today I went to my brothers graduation. I saw my dads side
of the family there and we all sat through the ceremony. I don’t think any of
us wanted to be there but it dosen’t matter anyways because we all wanted to
see my kuya jester graduate. After that we went to my Uncle Ray’s house to eat
dinner and celebrate my brothers accomplishment and we also played a little
poker. I didn’t decide to write in this to just talk about how everything went
but to just put my thoughts down on a page and hope that noone ever reads the
words till I am long dead and forgotten. As the party went on we all were
talking and having fun and the reoccurring subject that came up is my future.
Well I do have a litlle bit of an idea
of what I want to be but not completely. I don’t think any of us know
what we want to be but through our lives we keep searching and searching till we
are in a hospital and if we are lucky we will reach the answer right before we
die. I don’t know why but as I write this I have Emma Stone’s voice in my head
saying these words. I keep trying to decide what I want to be but it isn’t a
concrete thing yet. Anyways my mom started to talk to me about it in the car. I
don’t know for what reason but every time she talks I just want her to shut up.
Its not that I don’t love her or anything like that but its so annoying hearing
her nag about everything. Also that made me think about how our family is
completely split in 2 as far as personality goes. My mom’s side is all
sophisticated and shit. While my dad’s side is laid back a little. Not that
they don’t both care for education because in America who dosen’t. but they
approach the same topic from different points of views. I think this creates
internal conflict within myself which I think will help me become a complete
person. I think when my mom talks to me though she kinda degrades me. Its like
why the hel did you do this or that. I don’t know what it is but that makes me
not want to listen to her. I know she wants to convey a message but she needs
to convey her message in a different way. So I don’t know what I want to do
with my life I think I will either be some kind of computer artist or a lawyer
or a journalist. Its kinda scary to think that working is so close. Being out
in the real world applying for jobs hoping you get an offer and then proving
yourself to a company. I guess teens document everything because they don’t
want to be forgotten. They want to be remembered by all the generations. What
happens when we die? Do we go to heaven or hell or do we just rot in the
ground. I hope there is somewhere else. I hate how parents want to know
everything about you and then when you tell them the truth its like oh I am so
offended how could you say that. Well you wanted the truth right now you got
it. So that was my dad full of difficult thought about the future.
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